I remember being in a very bad place in life when I wrote this many years ago. Lol. The censorship you’ll see indicates such. But hey, since I’m busy with State of Dabar these days, I see nothing wrong with putting out a blast from the past…
Frustration was the dominant emotion within him as he sat by himself in his room. He was a bundle of negativity. He was bitter. He was angry. He was sad. He was frustrated. He was stressed. All thoughts of being nice seemed like folly to him.
Those bad memories came rushing back. That love thing that had backfired badly. The little squabbles he had had. The terrible stress he was going through. Too much negative energy was emanating from his system.
He sat there, thinking love was a load of rubbish. Thinking love was meant only for the weak-minded mortal. Thinking it wasn’t worth being so nice to others, especially to the fairer sex. Thinking about becoming even more reserved than he already was. He just wasn’t himself.
For the next few minutes, obviously, his emotions sparked into full gear as the unexpected happened.
It was nothing special. After months of not hearing from him, she just came across his number and thought it would be nice to just call him.
So she did, and tried to strike up a nice conversation, asking how he was doing.
He was hardly in the mood for calls, especially one from her, and it showed from the moment he answered. A curt ‘yes?’ was followed by sharp, short answers to her questions. She noticed it, and after the fourth question, asked if he was okay.
That got him pissed.
The nerve of her! After refusing to tell him the truth, after keeping him in the dark, after showing she didn’t give a crap about his feelings, she had the audacity to ask that question! He swallowed down the fiery tirade on the tip of his tongue and kept silent, giving a little grunt as an answer.
Funny enough, she continued, apparently not needing a proper answer. She decided to change the subject to something else.
Like she was talking to an old ally, she spoke of how wonderful her ‘dream guy’ was. How handsome, tall, sweet and loving he was. At the end of it, she suggested, “Would you like to meet him?”
If the first question pissed him off, this statement nearly blinded him with fury.
She knew he had been in love with her. She knew it. He had told her. Yet she had kept quiet about it, chose to let him know where he stood. Had it not been for his best friends, he never would have found out she already had a guy in her life.
Now here she was on the phone, talking about her boyfriend as if he didn’t matter. This smacked of nothing but disrespect and disregard for him. This would have come as a nasty shock had he not known, and she was obviously well aware of this. His heartbeat increased. Fury flooded through his veins.
He said, “I don’t give a flying f*** about your boyfriend.”
On the other end, shock filled her. Where in God’s name did that come from?
She asked what the matter was with him.
That did it.
All those feelings gushed out like a burst pipe. Months of hurt, resentment and antagonism flooded out on the phone line. In a tiger-esque fury, he spat out at her.
He blasted her for being so unthoughtful of his feelings. He said that if she had just told him the truth, it would have saved him so much heartache. He called her a selfish and thoughtless b****. He called her a ‘waste of time’. He said she had made him hate that thing they call ‘love’. Because of what she did, he got peeved whenever he saw couples together. Because of what she did, he thought love was nothing but bull****. He made it clear he didn’t want to meet her ‘Mr. Right’. He yelled about not caring whether she thought him immature or not; he didn’t care what she thought of him at all.
She couldn’t even manage to get a word in, for one breath out of her attracted a roaring “Shut up!”. She listened miserably as he vented all that pent-up spleen on her.
Within a few moments, he was out of words. Nothing else to say to that heartless girl on the other line. He growled, “Don’t you ever call me again. Just walk out of my life. You mean nothing to me.” He hung up and tossed the phone somewhere, breathing heavily. Still, there was anger. He still resented her like crazy. But all those bundled-up emotions, knotted up so tightly, felt looser now. He felt like a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders. Now he felt deep down in his heart, he could well and truly get over her and forget her completely.
He put his hands over his face. “Lord, help me.”